Why I Created FLOW

If someone had told me a few years ago that I would one day create an organisation dedicated to supporting children learning outside mainstream school, I would never have believed them.

Like many parents, I simply wanted my child to be happy, healthy and enjoying school.

Instead, our family found ourselves navigating a world we knew nothing about.

My youngest son, Callum, has experienced Emotional Based School Avoidance (EBSA) for much of his life, but everything changed after the COVID-19 lockdowns.

He managed his first day back at school, but after that, every morning became a battle.

At first, he complained of feeling unwell. Then came the tears. The anxiety. The overwhelming fear. Before long, the meltdowns began, often the night before school.

At the time, we didn't understand what we were experiencing.

We thought Callum simply didn't want to go to school.

Looking back now, I realise he desperately wanted to go — he just couldn't.

Every morning I woke with a feeling of dread, knowing what lay ahead. The tears, the panic and the impossible decision between encouraging him to attend or recognising that his anxiety had completely taken over.

Eventually, it became clear that this wasn't about behaviour or unwillingness.

It was fear.

Real fear.

As a parent, there is nothing more heartbreaking than watching your child desperately want to do something but be completely unable to.

With the support of his primary school, and by rebuilding his trust one tiny step at a time, Callum slowly found his way back.

Starting with just thirty minutes in school, Callum slowly built his confidence. Those thirty minutes became an hour, then half a day, until eventually he was attending school full-time once again.

One thing became very clear.

When Callum understood exactly what was going to happen and felt a sense of control, his anxiety reduced.

Predictability became our greatest tool.

The same morning routine.

The same teaching assistant meeting him each day.

The same safe place before entering the classroom.

Small, manageable steps.

By the end of Year 6, Callum had rebuilt enough confidence to walk into school with his friends again.

We hoped the worst was behind us.

Starting Again

The move to secondary school brought fresh challenges.

Although Callum managed the transition surprisingly well at first, I could see the anxiety quietly building beneath the surface.

Finding classrooms.

Remembering equipment.

Changing for PE.

New routines.

Growing friendship groups.

For many children these are everyday experiences.

For Callum, each one added another drop into what I often describe as an anxiety bucket.

Eventually, the bucket overflowed.

Following the Easter holidays, everything came to a standstill.

Every morning we tried.

Every morning Callum wanted to go.

Every morning he couldn't.

He would make it into the car but be completely unable to get out.

Frozen.

Heartbroken.

Overwhelmed.

One moment will stay with me forever.

His grandad offered him £100 towards a new bike he had been saving for, if he could attend school for a full week.

Callum was so determined.

He carefully planned everything.

The morning came and I promised I'd wait in a nearby car park in case he needed me.

He walked towards school with his friend.

I waited in the car park, hoping this was the day.

Then, just when I thought he might have managed it, I saw him walk back around the corner.

The relief on his face when I simply hugged him and said, "It's okay."

That was the moment I knew this wasn't something he could simply push through.

We needed a different approach.

One Step at a Time

Working closely with his school, we stripped everything back.

No expectations.

No pressure.

Just tiny steps.

The first goal wasn't entering school.

It was simply saying hello to a member of student support at the back gate.

Then, the next time, stepping through the gate.

Then each visit walking a little further.

Eventually reaching the student support room at the end of the long path.

One small achievement at a time.

Each step became the foundation for the next.

Over time, Callum began spending short periods in school again.

Then longer periods.

Eventually, he felt able to wear his school uniform.

Today, his attendance is still inconsistent.

There are still difficult days.

There are still setbacks.

But we've learned that progress isn't measured by perfection.

It's measured by courage.

Why FLOW Exists

Throughout our journey, there were times when we felt incredibly alone.

When you're living through EBSA, it can feel as though your world becomes very small.

Friends are at school, family members often don't fully understand, and each day becomes focused on simply helping your child get through it.

As I began researching, I realised something that both shocked and comforted me at the same time.

We weren't alone.

There were thousands of families across the UK experiencing exactly what we were - watching their children struggle with overwhelming anxiety, feeling isolated, exhausted and desperately searching for support.

In total, Callum spent around three and a half years out of school.

During that time, I found myself constantly trying to create opportunities for him. There were very few daytime activities available, very little specifically designed for children learning outside mainstream education, and no single place where families could discover what was available.

Everything we did was organised by me, often just the two of us together.

It made me realise that families like ours didn't just need more activities.

We needed a community.

Where children could build confidence, make friendships and discover what they love - without pressure or judgement.

That idea became FLOW.

FLOW is about far more than booking activities.

It's about creating opportunities.

Building confidence.

Helping children find their people.

Supporting families who often feel alone.

And creating a community where every child feels they belong.

Because every child deserves the opportunity to thrive, regardless of why they are learning outside mainstream education.

Looking Forward

FLOW began because of one little boy's journey.

My hope is that it becomes part of thousands more.

If one family feels less alone because of FLOW…

If one child discovers a new passion…

If one young person finds confidence, friendship and belonging…

Then every step of our journey will have been worth it.

Thank you, Callum. Without you, FLOW would never have existed.